I feel pretty/unpretty

they say falling in love make a girl pretty, but the truth is when a guy fallen for a girl that make a girl look pretty. i believe at this statement way too hard which makes me feel the only way to prove the world that i am beautiful is to make a guy fall for me. but as years goes by, the last time i had a romantic story was long long ago. i cant forget what it feels like to knowing that someone out there is loving me and i really miss it. the feeling you get when you know that out there, someone is loving you, someone is actually  care about crap thing you do. it makes you feel special. it makes you feel you are worth it, that your mother doesn't wasting her time by carry you for nine month and gave birth to you, because people are love you, just the way you are.
when someone love you, whether you like him back or not. is bright up your day. everything is wonderful. when you look at yourself in the mirror. you see a strong-beautiful-and confident woman.
when you hear a love song, it make you feel that the singer does sing it for you and only you.
and it seem like  when you walk, when you talk, everyone get tingle and all they wanna do is mingle. mingle with you.
damn, i miss this feeling so hard
so when i heard the stories about the other girl getting crush by a guy
it crumbled me
the way they tell me how hard is he fall for her
how he sees her as the most wonderful woman on earth
makes me jealous
not because i like that guy, or i hate the girl whom he fall for
but because i miss the feeling
the feeling i get when i know that somebody had a crush on me
i want that feeling again! i want to feel pretty!
*sorry for the bad english