why can't this be love?

straight to the point. I once liked a guy. no I am not just 'like' him, I loved him with all of my heart, I am sooo into him but he left me with doubt. he seem like into me, but I can't tell more.  so for saving myself for the tears, I keep remind myself that he did not love me back
but as time goes by, we're getting closer than I ever tought I might, as we grew closer, I kept hoping that he would be the one. but in the end of the day, his heart was always for another.
it bruise me for a while, but I keep on moving. at one point, some ugly truth bring me back from the dark, I finally let him go.
until one day, a friend of his told me that he is actually into me, he did love me back, and for some reason he does not love me the way I love him but surely he does love me. it hit me then, if we were into each other at that time, why can't this be love?

13

mungkin ragaku tak bergeming, mungkin lisanku berkata lain. aku mengingkari sebisaku, nyatanya hatiku diam demi mendengar namamu.

I feel pretty/unpretty

they say falling in love make a girl pretty, but the truth is when a guy fallen for a girl that make a girl look pretty. i believe at this statement way too hard which makes me feel the only way to prove the world that i am beautiful is to make a guy fall for me. but as years goes by, the last time i had a romantic story was long long ago. i cant forget what it feels like to knowing that someone out there is loving me and i really miss it. the feeling you get when you know that out there, someone is loving you, someone is actually  care about crap thing you do. it makes you feel special. it makes you feel you are worth it, that your mother doesn't wasting her time by carry you for nine month and gave birth to you, because people are love you, just the way you are.
when someone love you, whether you like him back or not. is bright up your day. everything is wonderful. when you look at yourself in the mirror. you see a strong-beautiful-and confident woman.
when you hear a love song, it make you feel that the singer does sing it for you and only you.
and it seem like  when you walk, when you talk, everyone get tingle and all they wanna do is mingle. mingle with you.
damn, i miss this feeling so hard
so when i heard the stories about the other girl getting crush by a guy
it crumbled me
the way they tell me how hard is he fall for her
how he sees her as the most wonderful woman on earth
makes me jealous
not because i like that guy, or i hate the girl whom he fall for
but because i miss the feeling
the feeling i get when i know that somebody had a crush on me
i want that feeling again! i want to feel pretty!
*sorry for the bad english

Rahasia Hati

Ku coba merangkai kata cinta

Walaupun ku bukanlah pujangga
Yang bisa tuliskan kata-kata yang indah
Nyatanya tak ada nyali untuk ungkapkan

I wanna love you like the hurricane
I wanna love you like the mountain rain
So right, so pure, so strong and crazy for you

Andai matamu melihat aku
Terungkap semua isi hatiku
Alam sadarku, alam mimpiku
Semua milikmu andai kau tahu
Andai kau tahu rahasia cintaku

Berdoa dan beranikan diri
Sebelum semua ini terlambat terjadi

I wanna love you like the hurricane
I wanna love you like the mountain rain
So right, so pure, so strong and crazy for you

Andai matamu melihat aku
Terungkap semua isi hatiku
Alam sadarku, alam mimpiku
Semua milikmu andai kau tahu
Andai kau tahu rahasia cintaku